Ask Denise: Adding Structure | The Zebra Blog

Ask Denise: Adding Structure

Denise Lones

“Denise, in the last year, my last child has gone off to college, my mom who was living with us passed away and I have separated from my husband. I feel like I emotionally am doing okay, but I am realizing that my past real estate success was based on structure. Between shuttling my kids around and taking care of my mom, I had a very concrete structure to my day. Now my house is empty, no one is expecting me to be anywhere, I have all the time in the world, but I can’t seem to get anything done. What is wrong with me?”

Not a thing! What you are going through is normal. Although you say you are doing fine emotionally, just because you aren’t crying in front of your clients doesn’t mean that you aren’t processing your grief. It is normal for you to grieve the loss of your kids to school, your mom, and your marriage. My first piece of advice is to give yourself time for this process.

Second, because you have thrived on structure in the past, you may need to introduce some structure to your life now. Going to the office daily, getting a dog who expects you home at a certain time, and trying to get out with friends at least once or twice a week will do you good. You may also want to look at taking up a hobby or join a group – a business group such as Rotary or a volunteer group might be a good thing! You may even want to consider contacting your broker and volunteering to mentor a new agent.

Third, I encourage you to take action with your past clients and your potential clients. Try to schedule in-person property reviews send a report and follow up with a phone call. As a people person, you thrive on being with people. If you were analytical or got energy from tasks, I would have you cleaning out your desk or refining your file structure, but you are a people person. Remember that.

Finally, make sure you get good sleep and structure exercise into your day. Grieving is an exhausting process. Your immune system needs support by your taking care of your body.

Take care of yourself and thank you for reaching out!


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One Response to “Ask Denise: Adding Structure”

  1. Denise, that was perfect!

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